You’re better off with your average schmuck

because he won’t need any nippin’ or tuckin’

You can let your guard down and keep on truckin’

He’s got a soul and it may run deep

And when it comes to the L word he plays for keeps

And though he may not have a tailor making his shirts

Doesn’t mean that his mind is down in the dirt

The finer things of life like justice and art

May also be things that are right up his alley

So if he doesn’t have diplomas covering his walls

Don’t be afraid to make him your pal-ley.

So if Mr. Right doesn’t come through with those calls

Look for Mr. Real

To come running to you.