Narcissism for Men



Narcissism And The Male Heart Wound

“Disconnection is both a personal and social disease in today’s world. With it come the afflictions of addictions, depression and narcissism in epidemic proportions…”

by Linda Marks\ valuable resource for the thinking person,Narcissism for MenLinda Marks, MSM, is a body-centered psychotherapist practicing in Newton, MA who works with  men, women and couples. She is writing a new book along with her colleague Brenda Bush , HEALING THE MALE HEART. She is author of LIVING WITH VISION: RECLAIMING THE POWER OF THE HEART (Knowledge Systems, Inc, 1988) and offers coaching classes Creating the Life You Want From the Inside Out.You can reach her at or (617)965-7846

Disconnection is both a personal and social disease in today’s world. With it come the afflictions of addictions, depression and narcissism in epidemic proportions.For all but the last several hundred to one thousand years of human existence on this planet, we have lived in a more collective, tribal society. In such a society, much like the one author Jean Liedloff described in the Continuum Concept, babies are born with cellular expectations of a connectedness and relatedness with self, others and all of life.From this point of view, as infants, we feel connected to life and expect life and others in our lives to both recognize us as human beings and take care of us at the most basic levels when that is required. Likewise, we expect our caregivers to help steward us through a maturation process leading to appropriate self-sufficiency that can co-exist with appropriate interdependence. We place such emphasis on working long hours, and getting so much done, that we live in an always hurrying, overprogrammed culture. We don’t have time to relax, to let down our defenses, to relate deeply. The pace of life today becomes another force to maintain disconnection.As we have moved farther away from tribal, village and community-based societies and into fragmented, disconnected nuclear family units or broken nuclear families, the sacred roles of both men and women have been lost. Men and women today are both engaged in the work culture for economic necessity and for a sense of identity and place. Many men and women alike are more distant from constant intimate daily presence in the lives of their children. Child care is often handed off to professional childcare providers, as the demands on one parent alone at home with children feels unbearable, as two parents each work and someone is needed to take care of the children or a single parent works to survive and can’t be in two places at once. When working parents are lucky enough to have extended family, grandparents age into their 80’s trying to surrogate parent their grandchildren.  Some of the energetic, emotional and practical mentoring and mirroring from parents and extended family that were once considered a child’s birthright are less available. This is true for both boys and girls…


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Astrology…What Is It?


antique astrology chart

Astrology …What Is It?

Astrology…what is it? There is an underlying benefit of every serious astrology reading whether the focus of same is to tell you where to live or whom to marry or if /when to quit your job. Continue reading

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How to Deal with Toxic People


How to Deal with Toxic Peopledepressed person

Dr. Travis Bradberry is the award-winning co-author of the #1 bestselling book, Emotional Intelligence 2.0, and the cofounder of TalentSmart, the world’s leading provider of emotional intelligence tests and training, serving more than 75% of Fortune 500 companies. His bestselling books have been translated into 25 languages and are available in more than 150 countries. Dr. Bradberry has written for, or been covered by, Newsweek, BusinessWeek, Fortune, Forbes, Fast Company, Inc., USA Today, The Wall Street Journal, The Washington Post, and The Harvard Business Review.

He has given us an insightful article on a subject we all need to deal with sooner or later…toxic people. Whether it’s at school, in the workplace, or in our own home, chances are that eventually we will run up against someone who alternately or simultaneously makes our blood boil and deprives us of peace of mind. Are we doomed to be victims of this kind of disfigured human being, or can we take arms against an apparently insurmountable obstacle placed in our path by outrageous fortune and defend ourselves against the excruciating pain that this particular brand of malefactor brings our way?

Author Bradberry says NO! We can do something about it! He emphasized emotional intelligence as the key weapon in our arsenal when it comes to withstanding the depredations of toxic people, and shows how a winning strategy can be put into place by concentrating on control and a willingness to erect and maintain oundaries between you and the toxic person.

In Bradberry’s own words:

How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success—when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.

Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your non-profit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function, you’re bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it. It’s the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that successful people employ when dealing with toxic people, what follows are twelve of the best. To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize.”

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Levels of Reality Within Astrology


Levels of Reality Within Astrology

by Greg Kramer August, 2001

Greg Kramer has been studying astrology for the past 30 years and teaches on a regular basis. While he has investigated many authors and branches of the study, his main influences have been Anthony Damiani and Marc Edmund Jones. He can be found at the Institute for Philosophic Astrology…  / Email him at or call: 607-546-2408

Astrology as a tool for understanding and navigating reality

Astrology is an exceptional tool for investigating the nature of reality. Contrary to what many think, there is more to this study than character analysis and prediction; in fact, it can be used in as many different ways as there are views of reality.

Astrology was the most suitable vehicle Anthony Damiani could find to elaborate his vision of metaphysics. Its more typical use is to help people with psychological and interpersonal difficulties, or for professional consultation in a wide range of applications. It’s even used to time events and divine answers to questions. In the right hands, astrology can be used to interpret just about anything.

Employing the cosmos to delineate facets of knowledge and being

It’s a bit mystifying how a single discipline could be effective in so many different ways. Anthony employs the cosmos to delineate facets of knowledge and being that range from the mundane to the metaphysical. So one might ask: How can the same basic symbols used to interpret a person’s moods also be used to probe the ontological status of reality? Or, to put the question the way an astrologer might ask it: How are the natal and metaphysical charts related?


Both charts utilize the same glyphs around the circle of the zodiac, but their applications couldn’t be more different. As PB says, “The chasm between the Real and man seems entirely impassable.” (28-2.79) Does this mean there are two different astrologies to address two kinds of existence – one of pure spirit to which the quantitative categories of the second have no application? No, we hold that there is but one unity, one total essence out of which all things proceed, and that the astrological framework Anthony presents in Astronoesis symbolizes the whole of it to the extent that representation is possible. In this view, the two charts are distinct but not separate and share a common source.

Assimilating ourselves to the divine intelligible paradigms of the planets

How, then, do we go about interpreting a symbolism that identifies man with the Real while acknowledging the differences? We’re looking for a golden thread – an umbilical cord that leads to a spiritual realm that preexists the world of sense. The ancient philosophers claimed that such a link could be found by assimilating ourselves to the divine intelligible paradigms of the planets. Anthony agrees, saying, “The cosmic circuit can announce or reflect back to us the meanings that are in the intelligible world.” (Astronoesis, p. 42) If this is so, the symbolism of the planets, signs, and degrees can facilitate our pursuit of a divine life, and authentic meaning can be extracted through the agency of astrology, even if only indirectly. But how?


A clue to the connection between individual and cosmic or between sensible and intelligible realms may be found in the law of similitude: like attracting that to which it is like. Through purification, the dimly pure in a secondary and discordant nature can attain to an ever more perfect expression of itself by dilating to its prior principle or antecedent cause. When astrology is used for this exalted purpose – to symbolically link core celestial principles to the summit of their expression – it begins to fulfill its promise as a spiritual path in its own right.


Another approach is to consider astrology as a science of analogy, which is one of the keys to its potency. The individual reflects the entire cosmos in miniature while the cosmos in turn reflects the entire man in the larger magnitude of his being. By imitating the perfection of the cosmos, we become more similar to it and in this way approach the perfection in ourselves. This is the guiding reality of the natal chart.


Stepping the analogy up a level, the cosmos itself assimilates as much of spiritual reality or Nous as it can through the medium of Soul, which seeks to elevate itself to the unity of real Being, while Nous in turn reflects the cosmos (through the descent of Soul) as a posterior image of itself. And pervasive of the whole is the One, the ultimate truth of all possible levels. This is the guiding reality of the metaphysical chart.


Through this interweaving network of cosmic relationships, the natal and metaphysical charts are seen to be linked in an analogic chain. This gives us an opportunity to use the symbolic language of astrology, which commonly employs the entire chain, as a tool for probing into the nature of reality.


A more direct approach to realizing the continuity of levels is to consider the planets in their essence as Gods and the signs and the degrees as Divine Ideas – the paradigms of function and substance which form the basis of life for body, soul, and spirit. Mundane life, which is generally considered to be a woefully imperfect imitation of the Real, is here seen as an expression of the Real, only through a distorting medium. In this view, the universe and everything in it is in perfect identity with its divine archetypes, and the world itself is the “perpetually becoming body of the Divine.” (Astronoesis, p. 43) Our role here is to identify with our essential nature. An astrological technique for doing this is to live our degree meanings, or to contemplate the intelligence of the degrees that is being manifested by the planetary powers. By contacting the guiding ideas that the Gods are making available to us, we can ultimately come to know the divine essence of our own being. “A knowledge of the Gods is accompanied by a conversion to, and a knowledge of, ourselves.” (Iamblicus, On the Mysteries)


Not that we can draw this dominion down to ourselves. By definition, that which participates in generation is incapable of fully grasping its prior: bodily consciousness cannot hope to comprehend the fullness of soul, yet something of soul is nevertheless present in body. So we also need to acknowledge the transcendent aspect of existence even as it is immanent within us.


We can agree that the natal chart is contained within the metaphysical chart, but if we are to accept the unity of all things, the metaphysical chart must also be presenced in the natal chart. I would submit that the distilled essence of the Idea-Principles that runs through all the levels and unifies them can provide a thread of continuity to help us begin to know these meanings, even if the signposts are only latent potential within us.


And throughout these levels of existence, the 12-fold schema with its planetary dignities provides a ubiquitous superstructure upon which the nature of reality may be investigated and contemplated.


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